Salvation is Participation

(Another retread from circa 2011, when I still had a house of "littles.")

Goodness can "undo" badness - because Jesus came and "undid" Adam's disobedience by His obedience, and because we are all part of the Body of the Christ and participate in that very act of Redemption, we can also help "undo" evil by our virtue.

We must do our part: Salvation is participation.

This is a deep concept for little minds, but there are plenty of familial examples to cite. When someone is angry or cranky and we respond in kind, the crankiness only ratchets up a notch; when we forgive right away and do something nice for that person, the whole household is calmer and happier. When someone is not doing "their share" and others begin to nag or complain about it, everyone becomes resentful and doesn't want to do their share either; but when we refuse to hold a grudge and decide that it's always better to do MORE rather than LESS, again the whole household is calmer and happier. As the mother often says, "Act CALMER than you feel and KINDER than you need to." 

When we do what Jesus would do, we allow Christ to participate in our actions with HIs grace, and we become channels of grace to others. Another deep concept for young minds. But it is not impossible to demonstrate how love begets love within the family setting - we like to be taken care of because it makes us feel secure and loved; when we take care of each other, we help them feel the security and love that enable them to understand how God loves and takes care of each of us. We need to point these things out to children, or they may easily miss the point, focused as they are on their own security! They (and we!) are necessarily and naturally self-centered; we need to provide (almost constantly!) the inspiration for them to reach beyond themselves to help others. There are plenty of opportunities for this within the family, but so many of those opportunities pass by in the busy-ness of the day.

This Lent, we are focusing on looking beyond ourselves.

My husband came up with an interesting exercise; a kind of game, if you will, to provide a focused - if somewhat artificial - period of looking to others instead of ourselves. Once every few months, each person is assigned a "partner" for dinner. For the duration of the meal, you are not allowed to ask for anything - not a refill, not for the salt to be passed, etc. Your PARTNER must keep track of your plate and ask if you would like the vegetables, or another cracker, or a refill of water. This doesn't give us much opportunity to focus on our own mouths and bellies to the exclusion of the rest of the table. The dynamics of dinner change dramatically.

Another dinner "game" we play is something we've dubbed "Fine Distinctions."In this game, each person takes a turn asking another person to choose between two things. The only rule is that neither of those two things can be a PERSON, because we can't choose any person over another. The point of this is that when you are asking the question, you are intensely focused on the likes and dislikes of the other person, and the person being asked is forced to prioritize. Some sample questions:

"Samuel, play a game with Mom or eat a hot fudge sundae?"

"Rachel, an hour on Club Penguin or shopping with Grammy?"

"Rob, serving Mass for the bishop or taking a tour of Rome?"

"Clare, a violin solo with the Symphony or free tickets to the Art Museum?"

"Mom, an hour at the Adoration Chapel or Mass without any little kids?"

"Dad, a job where you could work from home or your own business?"

As you can see, the questions may vary from the sublime to the ridiculous. We sometimes play this game with guests, which can be very interesting. Sometimes, Mom and Dad use this game to force older kids to think about some more serious issues, or to know their priorities on something. More stealth parenting ;-)

Anything we can do to get kids talking about the real stuff - not what they saw on tv or the new video game they saw at their friend's or the next computer program they want. In fact, we often declare a "no media" rule at the dinner table - we can talk about anything BUT media. Let's talk about real stuff, not virtual stuff.

Lent is about real stuff.